Being Exposed...to Family?

Last Saturday I was out with a friend, coming back from a Sox game, when I inadvertently let out that I need to go home and catch up on writing. Of course, since he has never heard about me writing, on came the questions:

"You're writing?"

"What are you writing about?"

"Can I read what you are writing?"

You can image my absolute happiness at his asking to read my work....Uh NOT! Are you Kidding ME?!

Of course I told him I would send him a copy when inside I was freaking out! And I am going to explain to you why.

Any budding author wants exposure. Wants the ability to give others a piece of their work and have it sought after. That's how you become known, that's how you become established. And if it had been anyone else, without a face, without a true connection to myself, I would have shrugged and said, "Sure I'll send you a copy ASAP and tell me what you think."

However, this is someone I know. Someone who I would take seriously if they had anything to say about my work. It is someone who I have a regular relationship with. Do you realize how particularly scary that can be? Writing is a bit like bearing your soul - your imagination coming to life on pages. It is a transcript of how you essentially see things or could potentially see things.

They say that the people who have the most power over your actions, whatever they may be, aren't really those within the field of work but your family and friends.

Even now, as my parents watch me write or ask me what I am doing and I respond with a resounding, "writing," I wait on baited breath for some discouraging word. It may seem silly that I wonder about what is travelling through their minds as they see their daughter engrossed in the world of fiction rather than in realm of law. But I think this is battle every author has to get through.

I know they'll be times where I may write something and think that it is a masterpiece and friends/family may not. I know they'll be times where I may want them fawning over some accomplishment like writing a full novel and I may only get a pat on the back.

It is going to happen. And I can't crumble because of it.

Why?

Because I am a writer. Plain and simple. Critics including friends/family will come and go, but I have to live with myself. In the long run, this will be one of many heart-clenching moments where I ultimately fear the possible rejection. But rejection isn't the end of the world. Not writing however ....would be the end of MY world.

So I will send my friend my work....well not until I run through it about 5-6 times more, bind it together into utter perfection.

Then I will send it to him!