When Its Time to Get Away from Yourself

Ever been so in your head that just being there make you dizzy? You have so many things you need to do, you want to do that you end doing nothing because you don't know where to turn? Or when there are so many things happening in your life that you want to tear your hair out and hand it to the next person that comes up to you...in their face?

Yes, I was there. Which is why I have been MIA for the past three weeks. Fam, I had to get away from myself. You are probably asking how the hell do you get away from yourself?

Fri's Music: Females In Charge, Betta Recognize!

So as you may or may not know, I love music (:gasp: enter sarcastic comment here). I use music to get an idea on how I would like a character to act in a certain situation. Lately I've been on ‘90s kick – mainly R&B. I was going through my iPhone and started playing all these I guess now considered “old school” hits and I realized that the ‘90s female artists made it a point to really talk about the stuff they were or weren’t going to deal with anymore. Sure we had Gloria Gayner’s “I Will Survive” (a pioneer in the “I don’t give crap anymore” movement) but I think, at least for me, that the ‘90s was a point where ladies got real.

The Dangers of Two-Timing....Myself

Imagine this scene:

I say softly, "Wow, you are so exciting! I would really like to spend some time with you, New Idea."

"Hey! What are you doing! We're not finished yet!" First Idea screams, stomping its foot.

I do a double take, realizing what it looks like. "No, wait! I can explain. I can handle both!"

"Look, its either me or New Idea. You can't have both!"

It is a danger I think all artistic people face – one day you’re working on a project when a new exciting idea comes along, with its new dips and turns and drama. Your mind starts cranking, making you want to start working on it immediately. The siren call of New Idea – its allure into a new unknown, a new spot of pleasure that only you can fully explore. A world that you have yet to discover and tell the world about.

But then there is First Idea that you fell in love with that you have been working months on tirelessly.

Do You Choose the Smoothest Course?

I am an avid fan of Disney movies and enjoy bringing them to real life situations (see And It Starts....You Think You Know a Guy...) Today's focus is Pocahontas. You remember that particular scene where she is in her canoe and has to decide what path to take? "Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as the beating drum?" There are two choices: choose the steady path or choose this winding and rocky path.

And as the movie continues we know she chooses the rocky path to John Smith, finding love to John getting shot to being sent away. Ok, yeah we know. Epic but slightly tragic ending.

But what if she had chosen the steady path?

I Wanna Go Up the Stairs!

Ever worked at something so hard, like sweat dripping down your face, teeth-gritting determined? And you keep pushing towards the finish line that when you finally do, it takes you by surprise? Even though it’s what you been what you’ve been working towards after so long?

My readers, as of Sunday February 19 at 9:45pm EST, I finished the first draft of my first novel. I crossed my (first) finish line.

EEEEEEKKKKK! (enter humongo grin here)

At first I didn’t know what exactly to feel. At first it was a definitely sigh of relief. Popped open a bottle of moscato and went to town! But as the elation passes, I began to think….Ok what is next?

And here is where I think many people begin to falter. Picture this: you are a toddler and you desperately want to climb to the top of the stairs. And that first step is so huge and you put so much time, effort and energy into getting up on the first step that when you do, you are elated beyond measure. You giggle, you clap your hands, you drool from excitement.

But then you look up and you see the other nine steps that you have to conquer. And it seems much higher than you remembered when you were at the bottom of the stairs! People say taking the first step is the hardest. I think continuing to keep going up the next several steps is even harder. Because it’s keeping the momentum, not letting the daunting task before you push back into stepping back down.

While I have finished the first massive step of completing my first draft comes the daunting task of going through the skeleton, putting meat and girth on, taking out the fat and keeping it lean. I would not be truthful if I said that I wasn’t sure of my abilities.

BUT….(there is always a but!)

I see my toy at the top of the stairs. It is my prized toy that I enjoy and love and desperately want. More than these inky stairs can keep me from it. And even though there are challenges on the way (losing my balance, getting distracted, seeing a so-so toy at the bottom I could have played with), I want my favorite toy.

I want my name on the New York Bestsellers List. It is mine for the taking. And take it I shall do!

In every adventure, we are all like a toddler, taking first steps to some unknown territory. And we are scared, elated, petrified, excited and downright crazy. But think about how you’ll feel when you look back to the many steps that you have taken! How you’ll gurgle with delight at your accomplishment and how you can’t wait to hear that shout of praise from Mommy or some big person  that says “wow, look at what you did!”

I for one can’t wait to see how far I can step up. One thing is for sure, my aim is the top of the stairs.

Friday Music: Someone Like You

"Someone Like You" is my favorite Adele song by far. Mainly because it really epitomizes what I was discussing on Monday. You can go through the worst break up of your life or the most crushing thing to your spirit AND still you can come through it with someone or something better. Here's my favorite part of the lyrics:


Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

MOST of the time, it is much much much better than the last.

Isn't it funny how we think we know what we want and but when we get it, it's not at all what we expected? And when its gone, something we NEVER even thought of comes along and absolutely blows your mind?

Oh the drama of real life...its just as good as the drama we write about!

Anyway enjoy the song...play it in the background and think of a time where you thought you were down and out of the count, but through inner strength and help you were able to rise up from the ashes. Maybe its a story you could share that could help someone else. Or just write about it like I do :)

Also I'd be remiss if I didn't pay some tribute to Whitney Houston, a singer who made me want to sing since I was 7 years old. Eternally free from her shackles, may you rest in peace Whitney...

You Got Moves Like Adele, No Joke!

With the recent shock wave reverberating with the death of Whitney Houston (not ready to talk about it), it was a breath of fresh air to see Adele win a rocking 6 Grammys last night. Such a talent was able to really shine through, all because of a “rubbish” relationship that left her for dead. Not physically, but it rocked her enough that friends and family prodded her to pick up the pieces of her heart. 

In her adversity and pain, she put it all out on paper. Everything. Every emotion, every pit of anger, resentment, depression, and sadness. But the last song on her 21 album, Someone Like You, is my personal favorite because it is evidence of her realization that she can do better. That she is using her angst brought on by her ex-boyfriend for her benefit. To show him and the world – I am better than this. I am Adele, doggone it and I am so over you.

Don’t you think the ex-boyfriend is piss mad somewhere? :) Stupid wanker...(hehehe wanker..)

But I think it’s a lesson that we can all learn from. We all fall. We are human. To err is to be human. But it is in the face of adversity and how you deal with it that defines you. For Adele, to overcome her pain she wrote songs. It was her release. And it is possible that the pain wasn’t immediately gone. But it was process.  But the theme of the 21 album was I am better than this.

Trust me, family. I am not sitting from a lofty high chair looking down and just giving running commentary about things. I have enough scrapped knees, bruises and knocks to the head to show you how human I am. But this is me dealing with adversity.

For me, writing has been an immense release. When I was going through a particular hard struggle of trying to figure out I was doing with my life, writing became my anchor. My escapism and my coping mechanism. I write about characters that have great struggles and need to find their way. And what is great about it is that they eventually find what they are looking for!  And I thank God every day for giving me something that can show me that no matter what happens, things will get better!

And even though I am now in a pretty good period in my life, I still hold on my struggles and writing and appreciate it all the more. Because I hope one day that my writing, my stories will be an escape for someone else who just needs a break from their lives.

Whatever you chose to do or have, it is important to remember to it should uplift you, not destroy you. If your anchor has the potential to bring you to another devastating situation, it is not an anchor. You are still floating towards the proverbial black hole. Find something rooted within yourself that can allow you to stand when the garbage is being chucked at you. But you do have moves like Adele J. Everyone does.