When Waiting Drives You to Punch Someone

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
Carl Sagan

Hello family:

I'm sure I've told you that I am currently querying for agents for my novel that I've slaved over for years, and I am finally able to let go (Back in the Game, Part Deux). Again, it's an amazing to be able to say out loud that I've written a novel, and I think it's sooooooo good that I should be represented in selling it to publishers. As I said, it's a fantastic, brilliant feeling.

But... the thing is...

THE WAITING SUCKS!

My inclination is if it's within my power to do something about it, I'm going to do it. And if it's not within my control, then I figure out a way to get it within my control. Yes, I am one of those people. One of those people who must have a finger on just about every detail that there can be. I already feel sorry for my poor boyfriend when we do get married (can you say Bridezilla?)

Anywho, I like to be able to push and prod when I need to, to make sure things get done. And with this, I CAN'T. I just have to wait. And if you are anything like me, you fight the impatience beast inside of you all the time. Like a perpetual boxing match with no end.

I'm the guy in the middle by the way.

I just want to knock this out of the park and move to the next step - whether it be getting representation or just moving on to another piece. But I can't - I have to wait until it's ready. How many things, in your life, are completely out of your control? Like you can't move forward until this particular thing or issue is dealt with?

Most of the time, perhaps you can. I literally have to tell myself every day many other things need my attention. Such as

1. Work. You know the thing that pays the bills every day. Until I get that check in the mail, gotta make sure that paycheck this is maintained.

2. My relationships. Family and loved ones are apparently dying for my affection since I have been engrossed in getting my book ready. Maybe I could remind them what I look like....

3. Read. I know I need to keep up with the trends - especially those that are making their way through the publishing world. So I'm trying to stay on top of top-selling books in the fantasy/science fiction genre.

4. Writing. Most important thing - if I want to make a career of this, I probably should have some other material to fall back on. For instance, The Want is the first of a series. But I don't know whether it's going to be successful. So I've been playing around with a new novel idea. Might as well get cracking on that one.

These are only four examples, but it's what I have to do to make the wait easier. It's not easy - again waiting absolutely sucks. But it's a part of life and it is what it is. Now and then, I find myself staring at the inbox, willing a new email to come. Then I remember it's only been so long so there's no point in being sour about it. Just let it happen - it will happen in its own time.

BUT! When I do get control again....

Back in the Game (Part Deux)

You know, it has been a REALLY long time since I've been on here. Like ridiculously long. And I could give excuses like the demanding legal job, losing that job to getting another demanding job to general life stuff...but who wants to hear about that?

That's old and boring. So we won't go down that route. 

Let talk about what's new! A couple of things. It's only taken me about 4 years, but I've taken my novel, polished as best as I could and finally sent it out to agents.

First let me say, the book has gone over a serious makeover. No longer called The Balancer but The Want. More unexplained phenomena with earthquakes, tsunamis, and even people. I've ripped apart twice, had editors look it it, rip it apart a third time and I've come to the nitpick stage. They usually say if you are there, it probably no more you can do with it.  

Even with the nerve-wracking fear of rejections, there is a particular beauty and sense of accomplishment to seek to sell your work. To say that I've written a novel and I'm sending it out for representation. I actually said it out loud at work. You may think that's not a big deal to say but when it's been my little secret for years...that's massive. 

(You might be saying, we've know that you write for years. Yeah you might but they don't!)

So there's that little diddy. 

And with every sense of accomplishment, it starts the clock over for the next project. And I've been waiting for a year to start working on it. Yes, I could have started the moment I was hit with the idea but I wanted to let go of The Want (not entirely but close to 80%). That way I know I could give the 2nd one the attention it deserves. 

Guys, I'm excited for this one. 

This one, tentatively called Harry and Me, includes all the elements I love in a book but also time travel. Partly inspired by the ever so wonderful Doctor Who (can't pick between 10 or 11). It's a three part series and will be in the new adult genre. Even now, as I think about it, I get a bit giddy. My characters are awesome! #ButReally

And always, my characters will feature characters of color. Not to get on my soapbox but I do believe that I want to help foster a literary world where it will become normal to see other people of color on the covers of novels. 

And all the more props to me when I can say to my little girl or boy, "That's my mummy's book." 

So that's going on with me. There are other side projects I've also abandoned that will be picking back up. Third Times a Charm, I am talking about you! (I'm coming home)

There is this sense within that I am actually coming home. Back to my corner, with my laptop and my little table, exploring my dreams in written form. I didn't realize it had been calling back until right about now. 

It feels like my mother is calling for me. 

Coming, mom!

Something for your Friday

Post by Kristina Jean-Conte.

Plan B! Reevaluating your Goals!

Hey fam, 

So the Indiegogo campaign is over. 

Unfortunately we didn't make our goal. Heck to be honest we didn't even make 10%. 

Whenever you don't make a certain threshold or goal you have to go back and reevaluate your choices. Was it my novel idea itself? Did I not explain in it a more engaging way? Or maybe the chapter I put up to entice people actually turned them away?

Fam, I went through every possible scenarios. But one conclusion came increasing clear. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I'm a firm believer that this process for me wasn't supposed to work. If it was suppose to, it would've. But!! It doesn't mean the overall plan to become a writer is in the trash. It just means we have to go another way about it. 

Ever have something happen to you where it reaffirms you commitment to your dream but you think you have better way to go about it (or don't trust what happened) and you go a different route? That's exactly what happened to me. I had attended a conference and made a couple of pitches to agents who were genuinely interested in reading. But in the fear of rejection (also because of the genre I'm in) I thought it would be best if I didn't go traditional. At least I knew I could publish myself. So I tried to raise money. Didn't happen. TWICE. 

You don't need a third time to tell you the first way was the way to go. Especially after all the effort, money and energy I put into making this campaign work. 

So where does that leave me? Back to the traditional. With a new novel. I've decided to put "The Balancer" on Wattpad and start on another one of my ideas. This way I can still get the exposure for my work and work on something that can have a fighting chance in this massive book market. Some of you might think don't write to simply appease the market. I'd like to think I'm not. I'm still getting my voice out there. With an idea that I genuinely like that just happens to fit in a hybrid genre (dytopian/fantasy). 

The major lesson in all this is just because one door isn't open doesn't mean others won't. Possibly before you started to learn more about the roadblocks in your way you had a simple idea. Return to the simple idea and make it happen. Listening to naysayers may educate you but possibly cripple you. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE. Preserve and it will happen!

So you can check out the Balancer on Wattpad. I'll be putting up the link once I make a couple of changes to the teaser chapter I put up. But you can see the new cover I created. 

Again fam, never give up and surrender. Reevaluating your choices is never a bad thing as long as you make a decision to keep moving and evolving. And if you are out there and you need motivation, let me know. Right behind being a lawyer and writer is a cheerleader! Motivation and inspiration are my pom-poms! 😜

Until next time (more than likely tomorrow)!

The Fundraising Begins! Indiegogo Virtual Launch Party

Hello Family,

Quite a number of things have happened since I last wrote.

1. Officially launched my Facebook page
2. More editing (I'm anal about these things)
3. Launched my Indiegogo funding project.

So in my last post, I was going to tell you more about my fundraising project to complete my book publishing. The platform I'm using is called Indiegogo and it's quite fantastic. Its based on the idea of crowdfunding and many endeavors are now using it to fund various projects. Some more famous projects as been The Boston Strong Project to raise money for those effected by the Boston Bombing and Whoopi Goldberg's biopic film about women comedians. It is such a great tool - it allows anyone really to be part of the process and be the defining factor whether a project gets off the ground or not.

And this is what I need your help with - Please help me get my project off the ground! Any amount will do! And what is also very great about my project is that your contribution will not go unrewarded. There are giveaways for amounts given. Free copies of the future book, signed copies, t-shirts - basically awesome stuff! For the full list of things being given away you can check out (and donate) at my Indiegogo page:

http://igg.me/at/bamnovellife/x/2444285

And the best thing you can do for me is to spread the word to those who could help me out. Every penny counts! Whatever you can give to help is one step closer to helping me realize my dreams. 

Oh and I almost forgot! I'm launching a virtual launch party for the fundraising! You can tune into my LiveStream on JUNE 24 @ 7PM for the festivities. You'll get to see me, get more details on the what's the situation and did I mention that there will be giveaways as well? It will be a great time.

http://new.livestream.com/accounts/4402239/events/2181410

We are hitting the ground running my friends and I can't wait to see where this road takes us! As I end this, I will leave you with a little video that I made and the musical styling of Beyonce singing one of my new favorites "Grown Woman."

Thanks everyone for your continues support!

Major Announcement for the Novel!

Hiya Family,

A great couple of things have happened that have officially pulled me from the quagmires of despair into totally and absolute joy.

I've finally taken the plunge and contacted a group about self-publishing my book. IT'S OFFICIAL!

You must be like "You've been saying that for the longest time. What's so different now?"

The difference is pushing the button.

Since a couple of months ago, I have been on fence about really writing. Work and getting my Masters got in the way of everything and it made me question whether I really could do this. Be a writer? Barely had time to get myself out of the bed in time for work!

Then about two weeks ago, I randomly decided to read the first novel-length piece I ever wrote. And this may sound really self-absorbed but I couldn't put my own work done! It wasn't that I didn't what was going happen but it was the story that kept me captivated. And I can be my own worst critic! But I honestly thought to myself, that wasn't half bad.

Then I got to thinking, if I am able to write something that I can honestly enjoy reading several years later, I might have something there. So today I took the plunge! I contacted my book publishing adviser and set the official timeline. EEEEKK!

And I push the other button that I had been putting off for a while - my Indiegogo funding page. The publishing world has now allowed others to self-publish and take control of their own work. It is my wish to do the same. I'll discuss more about my goals for funding in another post but you can take a look at it if you want a sneak peak! Bring My Novel To Life!!

But honestly I can't tell you how siked (yes, I still use that word) I am about this entire thing. I started officially writing just about three years ago. Finished my first novel-length piece in a couple of months. Finish my current novel in 5 months and I still have much more to give!

Stay tuned and thanks for your continued support! Your comments and well-wishes give me the mojo to continue!!

Ciao,

Kristina

How Pinterest Saved My Novel

Family, I gotta testify and tell YOU how Pinterest save my book, gave it a second life and raised it from the dead.

I'm getting ahead of myself so let me back up a bit. You see, when you have been working on something so hard and take a break from it, you can lose your initial vision. How you saw your characters, how you saw the world you created. It's like a film that covers your eyes. Like sunglasses that are stuck to your ears and you can't get them off without doing yourself much harm.

Well, family, I had some dark sunglasses on. I couldn't get a handle on my protagonist. I started to forget my how evil my antagonist was. I was starting to forget how steamy the love connection between characters was. I was losing why my character would do certain things in certain places and I was losing why certain places did the things it did. And let me tell you that is the worst thing to happen to a writer. Sweat was pouring, itches broke out and panic was starting to come around the corner.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

It's not everyday that fantastic things happen that renews your invigoration for life. Or where a series of events breathes life back into the things that you hold dear. My friends, many great things have happened over the past couple of weeks that have lit a fire underneath my butt to fully seize my dreams of becoming a writer.

I believe that things happen for a reason. You can call it a divine plan or something written in the stars but there is some sort of master chain of events.

Getting Back in the Game

Hey family,

You must be looking at me and saying..."Who are you again? Oh aren't you that girl who disappeared like seven (7) months ago?"

As I hang my head in shame, I admit it - yes, I disappeared. But I did have good reasons! The move to NY, getting back into the school game and just getting used to the new lifestyle can really suck out a girl's motivation to get back into the game.

It's Been a Long Time... Time for the Boss Lady Grind!

Family,

First and foremost, I have to say....I AM SO SORRY!!

I disappeared for an inexcusable amount of time and I thoroughly submit to this position!

If you are unfamiliar with this picture, this is the dogeza position, a Japanese custom of bowing that shows the most humblest of apologize. Yes that, my friends, is the level of my apology! But I think I do have some sort of excuse...

I am moving to New York City!

Quickie - I AM ALIVE!

Yes, it has been just about a month since I have update the blog. Family, crazy things have been happening and I am still reeling from them. AND they aren't done yet so please bear with me. Until then, enjoy the musical stylings of Calvin Harris and Ne-Yo....This song absolutely embalms my exact feelings! Let's Go!

A much meatier post will be coming soon enough!

When Your Dream Sends You Over the Proverbial Cliff

Family:

Have you ever had something sit, like literally sit on your heart, and you can't be divested from it? Not necessarily eating away at but just sitting there? Almost niggling away, reminding you of it?

I've been thinking about it hard. About my last conference with Muse 2012 (see When Your "Aha!" Becomes "Oh No" to "Hmm Ok"). Words are still ringing: I have an issue with the market - that it may not sell as well as I would like. That an agent or a publisher would be reluctant to pick it up and invest in it. And it is amazing that out of all the feedback one would get about how great your work is that the more disheartening one would stick the most.

It could be enough to send you back to hide with your dreams and bury them.

It could. As for me, I refuse to hide. I've worked too hard. So I jumping over the cliff!

Friday's Music: Summa Summa SummaTime!

Hey family, I haven't done a Friday's music post so with the sun shining and the birds chirping, I thought it was a good time as any to restart the fab tradition of going nuts on a Friday.

Now, I could make this about inspiration. I could make this about pulling part the lyrics of song and getting to the insightful way the lyricist portrays love and conflict. (Enter brooding face of concentration)

HMMMM NO.

It's just not one of those days.

When Your "Aha!" Becomes "Oh No" to "Hmm Ok"

Just this past weekend, I attended the Muse Boston Writing Conference and it was a great experience. I got to sit down with teachers, writers, agents, columnists, etc. The works to say the least. But...I should have known that congregating with such people would have worked my mind grapes to another level. So much that I have begun to question the novel that I had finished back in February.

DUN DUN DUN

Having an Arranged Marriage...with Your Work

Imagine this:

From a young age, you have always known that you were set to be with someone called "Dream Work." You knew that you wanted to be with Dream Work because you had been told that it was perfect for you. And so as you go through life, you continue to grow but begin to forget that you are betrothed to Dream Work. That you will marry Dream Work and be happy. However, life gets in the way, priorities changes and as you age and mature, you begin to think that Dream Work wouldn't work anymore. Sure it was something you had been told that you were perfect for it, but who really wants to be set for life before you could make a decision? You are a different person, you won't be dictated to!

However, fate will set in and there is a chance meeting - you actually meet Dream Work.

When It's Ok to "Two-Time" on Your Work

Several weeks ago, I wrote about the Dangers of Two-Timing Yourself. I had to laugh at myself because it was just so…ridiculous but true at the same time. I am going to take a different position, to play devil’s avocado (yes I know its advocate). This won't be a really meaty piece but something I am doing that I wanted to share with you. 

Picture this: have you ever seen those mothers who are just WAY in love with the children?

When Its Time to Get Away from Yourself

Ever been so in your head that just being there make you dizzy? You have so many things you need to do, you want to do that you end doing nothing because you don't know where to turn? Or when there are so many things happening in your life that you want to tear your hair out and hand it to the next person that comes up to you...in their face?

Yes, I was there. Which is why I have been MIA for the past three weeks. Fam, I had to get away from myself. You are probably asking how the hell do you get away from yourself?

Fri's Music: Females In Charge, Betta Recognize!

So as you may or may not know, I love music (:gasp: enter sarcastic comment here). I use music to get an idea on how I would like a character to act in a certain situation. Lately I've been on ‘90s kick – mainly R&B. I was going through my iPhone and started playing all these I guess now considered “old school” hits and I realized that the ‘90s female artists made it a point to really talk about the stuff they were or weren’t going to deal with anymore. Sure we had Gloria Gayner’s “I Will Survive” (a pioneer in the “I don’t give crap anymore” movement) but I think, at least for me, that the ‘90s was a point where ladies got real.

The Dangers of Two-Timing....Myself

Imagine this scene:

I say softly, "Wow, you are so exciting! I would really like to spend some time with you, New Idea."

"Hey! What are you doing! We're not finished yet!" First Idea screams, stomping its foot.

I do a double take, realizing what it looks like. "No, wait! I can explain. I can handle both!"

"Look, its either me or New Idea. You can't have both!"

It is a danger I think all artistic people face – one day you’re working on a project when a new exciting idea comes along, with its new dips and turns and drama. Your mind starts cranking, making you want to start working on it immediately. The siren call of New Idea – its allure into a new unknown, a new spot of pleasure that only you can fully explore. A world that you have yet to discover and tell the world about.

But then there is First Idea that you fell in love with that you have been working months on tirelessly.