When Waiting Drives You to Punch Someone

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
Carl Sagan

Hello family:

I'm sure I've told you that I am currently querying for agents for my novel that I've slaved over for years, and I am finally able to let go (Back in the Game, Part Deux). Again, it's an amazing to be able to say out loud that I've written a novel, and I think it's sooooooo good that I should be represented in selling it to publishers. As I said, it's a fantastic, brilliant feeling.

But... the thing is...

THE WAITING SUCKS!

My inclination is if it's within my power to do something about it, I'm going to do it. And if it's not within my control, then I figure out a way to get it within my control. Yes, I am one of those people. One of those people who must have a finger on just about every detail that there can be. I already feel sorry for my poor boyfriend when we do get married (can you say Bridezilla?)

Anywho, I like to be able to push and prod when I need to, to make sure things get done. And with this, I CAN'T. I just have to wait. And if you are anything like me, you fight the impatience beast inside of you all the time. Like a perpetual boxing match with no end.

I'm the guy in the middle by the way.

I just want to knock this out of the park and move to the next step - whether it be getting representation or just moving on to another piece. But I can't - I have to wait until it's ready. How many things, in your life, are completely out of your control? Like you can't move forward until this particular thing or issue is dealt with?

Most of the time, perhaps you can. I literally have to tell myself every day many other things need my attention. Such as

1. Work. You know the thing that pays the bills every day. Until I get that check in the mail, gotta make sure that paycheck this is maintained.

2. My relationships. Family and loved ones are apparently dying for my affection since I have been engrossed in getting my book ready. Maybe I could remind them what I look like....

3. Read. I know I need to keep up with the trends - especially those that are making their way through the publishing world. So I'm trying to stay on top of top-selling books in the fantasy/science fiction genre.

4. Writing. Most important thing - if I want to make a career of this, I probably should have some other material to fall back on. For instance, The Want is the first of a series. But I don't know whether it's going to be successful. So I've been playing around with a new novel idea. Might as well get cracking on that one.

These are only four examples, but it's what I have to do to make the wait easier. It's not easy - again waiting absolutely sucks. But it's a part of life and it is what it is. Now and then, I find myself staring at the inbox, willing a new email to come. Then I remember it's only been so long so there's no point in being sour about it. Just let it happen - it will happen in its own time.

BUT! When I do get control again....

Back in the Game (Part Deux)

You know, it has been a REALLY long time since I've been on here. Like ridiculously long. And I could give excuses like the demanding legal job, losing that job to getting another demanding job to general life stuff...but who wants to hear about that?

That's old and boring. So we won't go down that route. 

Let talk about what's new! A couple of things. It's only taken me about 4 years, but I've taken my novel, polished as best as I could and finally sent it out to agents.

First let me say, the book has gone over a serious makeover. No longer called The Balancer but The Want. More unexplained phenomena with earthquakes, tsunamis, and even people. I've ripped apart twice, had editors look it it, rip it apart a third time and I've come to the nitpick stage. They usually say if you are there, it probably no more you can do with it.  

Even with the nerve-wracking fear of rejections, there is a particular beauty and sense of accomplishment to seek to sell your work. To say that I've written a novel and I'm sending it out for representation. I actually said it out loud at work. You may think that's not a big deal to say but when it's been my little secret for years...that's massive. 

(You might be saying, we've know that you write for years. Yeah you might but they don't!)

So there's that little diddy. 

And with every sense of accomplishment, it starts the clock over for the next project. And I've been waiting for a year to start working on it. Yes, I could have started the moment I was hit with the idea but I wanted to let go of The Want (not entirely but close to 80%). That way I know I could give the 2nd one the attention it deserves. 

Guys, I'm excited for this one. 

This one, tentatively called Harry and Me, includes all the elements I love in a book but also time travel. Partly inspired by the ever so wonderful Doctor Who (can't pick between 10 or 11). It's a three part series and will be in the new adult genre. Even now, as I think about it, I get a bit giddy. My characters are awesome! #ButReally

And always, my characters will feature characters of color. Not to get on my soapbox but I do believe that I want to help foster a literary world where it will become normal to see other people of color on the covers of novels. 

And all the more props to me when I can say to my little girl or boy, "That's my mummy's book." 

So that's going on with me. There are other side projects I've also abandoned that will be picking back up. Third Times a Charm, I am talking about you! (I'm coming home)

There is this sense within that I am actually coming home. Back to my corner, with my laptop and my little table, exploring my dreams in written form. I didn't realize it had been calling back until right about now. 

It feels like my mother is calling for me. 

Coming, mom!